I paused.
I knew what I wanted out of life... but how to do you simply explain that to someone else? Especially someone you barely knew? Ambitions are things buried in your soul. It's what you yearn for and strive for all your life. They're very personal. How do you adequately put them into words so that they would make sense to other people?
I stumbled, trying to put into very few words what I really wanted in life...
I wanted to be the kind of woman in my patriarchal blessing. Like.... really?
Later that night, as I lay in bed, I forced myself to really think it out, ponder, and put into words what my ambitions were. I think that was part of the problem... I had never actually written down or vocalized that much about my desires in life. Yeah, they were up in my head, but they were all jumbled around and not very concise and in-depth. I thought long and hard for a while. Out of all the things that could happen in my life... what were the most important to me?
I figured it out. I wish I could go back and say something different than I did that night. That I could have confidence in my voice, and that I could say straightforward what I wanted out of life.
I want to be that woman that people look to as an example, a beacon of light. I want to not just live life, I want to thrive. I want my life to be the way God intended it to be. Centered around Him.
I want to find my best friend, and then marry the crap out of him. I want to find a man that will not just live the gospel, but that loves it, just like me. I want us to lift and encourage each other to grow. I want to get married in the temple and have an eternal family. I want kids. I want to raise them in this gospel and teach them about true happiness. Family is the most important thing in the world. I want to be a spiritual giant, to my friends, my family, my neighbors, and strangers. I want to help others, whether that be spiritually, emotionally, or physically. I want to fuel my testimony of the gospel. I want God to make me a somebody.
I want to find my true calling in life, my passion. You know when you look at certain people and you just say, "they figured out what to do in life, they found their calling and what they were supposed to be doing. They are changing lives. They went out on a limb, a chance, and it created something so beautiful."
Everyone has that potential, but not everyone reaches it. That's what I want. I want to reach my full potential and inspire people through what I do.
I want to always be present in life. to touch things with my whole heart. Take on challenges head on. Be an optimist. Remember what is important to me. Be an enthusiast in life. Embrace change. I want to make others happy. I want to go places, see new people, experience new things. I want my mind to grow. I want to keep my curiosity, my wonder. I want to be silly. I don't want to be afraid to speak my mind. I want the courage that is required to make things happen in my life. I want to get out of my comfort zone-- where the magic happens. I want to live life on a large scale.
To sum it all up... .I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.
Sincerely,
Haylie
"Faith tells me that no matter what lies ahead of me, God is already there."
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